Learn How To Handle Being Stood Up


Learn How To Handle Being Stood Up
It can be so annoying to go out on a date only to discover that your date will not show up. Blessing Ukemena writes on how to handle such a situation, with reports from yourtango.com.

All dressed up and ready for your first date with a guy you like. Sometimes, you get so excited that you tell your friends about it. Then, you put on your best dress and sit there waiting, and waiting and waiting. Sometimes, if the guy is so callous, he won’t even bother to call to say he can’t make it.

And nervously, you will be glancing from the door to your time piece every second, frustrating. Then, what do you tell your friends? It has happened to the best of us. A friend flakes on you, a co-worker fails to make it to happy hour or a sibling simply forgets you had plans. When it comes to people we deal with on a day-to-day basis, it can be easier to forgive and forget.

But what happens when you are stood up by someone on a first date? Do you allow them the same forgiving courtesy as your friends, or do you hold them to a higher standard that comes with sharper penalties?  Rather than sending out a firing squad or spending the night in the bathroom crying in disbelief, choose not to react. It may be easier to respond with a heated head, but taking the high road is better for your heart. Instead, Stop, Think, And Do Something.

Give the benefit of the doubt
There is a 50/50 chance that you were stood up for a good reason. It could be that something bad happened to him or his relations. Taking a chance on love also means taking a leap of faith. There could be a very logical explanation as to why you were left sitting alone, and not one that necessarily comes from your Missing-in-Action date. Trust that the stars are aligning for you the way they should. This person just may not be the one. 

Wait to cool down before making contact
If you find yourself seething or angry, do not immediately send a text message, leave a voice mail or compose a nasty email. Allow sometime to pass before you make an attempt to say your peace. What you say when you are angry will have far more permanence to the situation if indeed there was an emergency or tragedy.

Vent to your friends or to the bartender. Put the phone down and keep your head up. At least, try to call him to know what was keeping him before you scream at him for keeping you waiting, depending on the reason he gives. Patience may bring you the peace you need. 

Decide what reason would be forgivable and what excuse is not
Everyone has deal breakers. Consider which ones are yours in this situation. What reasons are not just forgivable but ones that are livable - ones that you can accept and allow you to move forward? Flat tire, dead cell phone, parent in the hospital? There are reasons and there are excuses. Allow yourself to know the difference. But since this is a first date, he better have a damn good reason.  

Realise it was their choice and nothing you did
Do not beat yourself up asking “Was it something I said” or “Did he show up and see me and bolt?” This was their choice, their issues or even their mishap that caused them not to meet you. You are still the same wonderful, fabulous and love deserving person you were when you arrived. This is not a reflection of you. It is an expression of their insensitive behaviour. 

Accept it
You may never hear from this person again. You may never know what happened or what changed or why this or how come that. Pat yourself on the back for putting yourself out there and write this person off as a loss. Letting it go and moving on is the best way to keep yourself optimistic for the next person you meet. 

Being stood up is never a pleasant experience.
It can leave you feeling vulnerable and insecure, and it hurts your feelings. Allow yourself to go through whatever emotions you may need to, but try not to hold on to it. Sometimes, life shows us things that we need to see. If someone does not value you enough to have the consideration to cancel the date, they probably do not deserve your time, energy or your heart.

So, it’s best to see it as their loss and move on with your wonderful life, because no one can live your life the way you do. And maybe you just may meet the right man that will treat you as an angel from heaven, right the very next day.
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