My fiancée is HIV positive
By Kemi Ashefon
I am 29 and dating a 24-year-old lady who I plan getting married to in nine months time. Lately, I found a piece of paper in her room and it was a HIV screening result which indicated positive! She really loves me but she has not told me of this. Already, I have gone for HIV screening in four different hospitals respectively and the result is negative. We are really in love with each other. What do I do?
Do I go ahead with the relationship and keep using condoms for protection till we get a solution or do I leave her?
AB,
Lagos
If I advise that you go ahead and marry her, I could be blamed in future. Why? I sense that she is hiding something from you which is beyond the HIV screening result.
Have you given it a thought that she contracted it from someone/somewhere? If she loves you as you thought, why didn’t she open up so as to prevent your being infected? What if you didn’t see the result, wouldn’t she have gone ahead with the marriage, and lied against you that she contracted it from you? By then, you would also have became a carrier, so you would not know where you got it from.
On the other hand, if I advise that you dump her, many people could say that I am stigmatising a HIV carrier. Well, know that marriage goes beyond ‘we love each other’.
That may not be the story in three years. Think very well and look before taking a leap.
I am 29 and dating a 24-year-old lady who I plan getting married to in nine months time. Lately, I found a piece of paper in her room and it was a HIV screening result which indicated positive! She really loves me but she has not told me of this. Already, I have gone for HIV screening in four different hospitals respectively and the result is negative. We are really in love with each other. What do I do?
Do I go ahead with the relationship and keep using condoms for protection till we get a solution or do I leave her?
AB,
Lagos
If I advise that you go ahead and marry her, I could be blamed in future. Why? I sense that she is hiding something from you which is beyond the HIV screening result.
Have you given it a thought that she contracted it from someone/somewhere? If she loves you as you thought, why didn’t she open up so as to prevent your being infected? What if you didn’t see the result, wouldn’t she have gone ahead with the marriage, and lied against you that she contracted it from you? By then, you would also have became a carrier, so you would not know where you got it from.
On the other hand, if I advise that you dump her, many people could say that I am stigmatising a HIV carrier. Well, know that marriage goes beyond ‘we love each other’.
That may not be the story in three years. Think very well and look before taking a leap.
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